The Hardest Part of Moving On Isn’t Letting Go—It’s Not Looking Back

I’ve heard people say that the hardest part of moving on is letting go. But I don’t think that’s true.

The hardest part of moving on isn’t letting go. It’s not looking back.

Because even after you’ve made peace with why it ended—even after you’ve done the work to heal—there’s still that moment. That moment where you want to reach for them. Where you want to remind them that you still exist. Where you want to convince yourself that maybe, just maybe, you could try again.

But looking back keeps you stuck in what could have been instead of moving toward what will be.

The Mind Plays Tricks When the Heart Is Healing

Your mind will make you remember all the good times first. It’ll replay the laughter, the warmth, the nights when their voice was the last thing you heard before you fell asleep.

It won’t remind you of the times you felt unseen. The nights you questioned your worth. The way they slowly stopped choosing you.

Because when we miss someone, we don’t miss the reality—we miss the potential. The version of the relationship we wished existed. The version we held onto even when the reality was breaking us.

And that’s why moving on isn’t just about letting go of a person. It’s about letting go of the hope you held onto for too long.

Falling Back Feels Easier Than Walking Away

There’s a moment after every breakup where you feel like you could go back.

Not because it was perfect, but because it was familiar. And if there’s one thing the heart hates, it’s uncertainty.

So we rationalize. We tell ourselves:
“Maybe I was too hard on them.”
“Maybe we just needed more time.”
“Maybe if I reach out, we can figure it out.”

But remember:
If love was right, you wouldn’t have to convince yourself to stay.
If love was meant to last, you wouldn’t have to beg it not to leave.

What’s easy isn’t always what’s good for you. And what’s comfortable isn’t always what will help you grow.

The Closure You’re Looking for Won’t Come from Them

Maybe you’re waiting for that one last conversation. The one where they finally admit they took you for granted. The one where they apologize for every way they hurt you. The one where they finally see your worth the way they should have from the start.

But closure isn’t a conversation. It’s a decision.

You don’t need their permission to move forward. You don’t need their approval to start healing. And you don’t need to hear them say, “I was wrong,” to know that you were right to leave.

The peace you’re looking for? It’s already inside you. It’s just waiting for you to stop looking for it in places that broke you.

What’s Meant for You Won’t Require You to Look Back

I won’t tell you moving on is easy. Because it’s not. It’s waking up some mornings feeling strong, only to feel like you’re unraveling the next. It’s catching yourself looking at your phone, hoping to see their name. It’s wondering if they ever really cared or if you were just a chapter they closed without thinking twice.

But here’s what I will tell you:

You don’t move on by forcing yourself to forget.
You move on by reminding yourself of what you deserve.
You move on by trusting that what’s ahead of you is greater than what’s behind you.

And one day, you’ll wake up and realize:
The hardest part wasn’t letting go.
The hardest part wasn’t looking back.
The hardest part was believing you deserved to move forward.

And once you do?
You’ll never look back again.

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If This Spoke to You…

If this hit home, it’s because you’re in the process of choosing yourself. And that’s not easy. But it’s necessary.

If you need words that remind you of your strength, my book In Her Hour of Need is for you. It’s the kind of book you pick up when you’re struggling not to look back. The kind that reminds you that your best days aren’t behind you—they’re just beginning.